O, AR, HR, XC, HTFU!: Relay - the Sweet Desert of the IOC

My two favourite races in orienteering and hill running have to be Jukola (7 man relay) and the Stone Cross to Lug Relay.

Relays bring out a clubs competitive side. Everyone loves relays. It makes the race be more than just about your run, its your club mates run, your best mates run. There is 3 times the amount of possible mistakes and 3 times the adrenaline rush... Its not you nervous about you run, its you nervous about everyone's runs due to its effect on your run... and there's nothing you can do about it! Also, you've got the crazy spectator value!

This morning saw the final event in the Irish Championships take place. The Irish Relay Championships.

CNOC as always would make sure ever club runner got a run, even if they didn't! Don, been the chairman was the boss. What he said went, but we had some input... or at least he let us feel as if we had!

The teams were decided on Saturday afternoon after the Classic distance (my worst Irish result ever, finishing an appalling 11th, 10mins down on Nick).

The first 3 finishers on M21E would make Team CNOC Van Halen aka the CNOC number one team. The 4th elite, along with Conor and Niall would make up CNOC White Snake!

As results panned out - the 3 on Van Halen were Seamus, Ruairi and me. Hugh was last leg for White Snake.

The relay legs were easy to decide - Shea first leg - because he won't lose the head, roar second leg because he's always clean and I'd bring us home, because god help anyone if it comes down to the final meters.....

Jumping forward to 09:55am. Shea jumps into the start pen. And the heckling begin - for a few minuites Team Van Halen were extremely worried as Shea was been badly distracted by Ciara in the box... bad start!

After much screaming of "show us your abs", the relay took off and only 3 runners actually went to the start kite - Shea been one of them....

I couldn't see much so I got changed and pumped for the race. Running around I really didn't feel too healthy - possibly the rake of pints (1) from the previous night!

Running to the top of the earth bank, the first runners come into view.... Ciara and Niamh, both missed the control with Ciara recovering quicker... Niamh gave chase and got a gap crossing the bridge, also she had a tiny gaffle on the near side of the bridge so she took first leg easy to let Orla out for CNOC's Womens team.... Meanwhile, a battle had emerged out on the far slopes, runners begin to come into view... Is it Dobbs? No... Is it Shane? No.... Darren? No.... The boss, Seamus O'Boyle comes beasting across the planes with Shane on his shoulder. Completes the loop and is first to the bridge - sadly he stuffed the 2nd last and Shane pipped him for the glory of first leg. Shea comes in just behind - unleashing Ruairi who has to give chase to Marcus Pinky Pinker.

I find shea, make sure shorts are ok and leg it back to the car to strip down to minimum clothes. Once this is done, I suddenly begin to feel really sick. I drank a wee bit of water and then everything comes up.... after a few seconds I have it all up and my stomach is empty - panic! Running a race with no fuel is dodge! I began to see who has some chocolate! No one... Finding Niamh, in a flap I ask what she has... calming me down, she brings me back to the car and takes out a big white bag.... instantly curious, she put on a big evil girly smile and goes its Glucose! This was news to me, I was never aware you could buy bags of this sort of stuff! Think of a concentrated sugar, made from concentrated sugar! More commonly known as rocket fuel!

Finding an empty bottle she dumps in loads! Having no water to dilute it, we dilute it with sports mixture! Its one hell of a sick cocktail. Necking the bottle I'm off to find Shea to inform him of what I just drank... When I inform him I just downed 100g of pure sugary carbs his eyes light up like Christmas has come early.

The pre race discussion was as follows

S "don't fuck it up"

C "i'm fine, I won't"

S "your not fine"

C "I am"

S "your not, you haven't blinked!"

C "I told ya, I'm fine :P"

S "Good man"

S "Think Curragh, but faster!"

And with that I was off warming up... I was pumped!!!

Striding out I yell to the boss to keep an eye out for Roar. I go into the pen and collect my map... the heckles from CorkO begin to come strong and fast. I ignore them. Focusing on my own race. This is finally it. A chance to show people what I can really do - the IOC was crap so far, time to leave on a high. I look in the distance and I see Pinker running for the last, followed by Ruairi. I could see from his run that he was in a world of hurt..... Pinker in, Bill out.... I jump the tape... Ruairi in, Colm AWAY!

As I leg it out of the run out, I hear Senan yell stay focused, or something along those lines.

Running to one I just wanted to stay calm. Reading the features, getting a feeling for how it was mapped. Seeing the telephone lines and earth banks was a nice give away. Heading for 2, it was another easy leg. Straight for the gate, then the end of the forest. On crossing the road I could see Bill. I put him to the back of my mind. He wasn't relevant to my orienteering. From the end of the trees I saw a control to my right and ignored it, heading straight into my depression. From this point I knew the orienteering would be fast and easy, just keep focused. Heading for 3, I had cut the gap to Bill further. Running along the slope of the hill I dropped to 4, Bill appeared to be all over the shop! We hit the fence crossing at the same time. I was on top of him as he attempted to cross it. I took off and spiked 5 in the technical area, out again, ignoring Bill I got 6 and headed up to 7 which was a common control. I punched it directly after him.

I headed back in the direction of the technical area, he went else where, I questioned his route choice but then forgot about him. Clearing the ditch, I new the race was mine for the taking. As I headed for the fence, Ger went flying by, followed by Dav - both about 4:30mins off the pace.... As I jumped the fence I focused in on the map and made sure of 9... Heading for 10 I ticked off the features, on seeing a big depression, I notice a control in it - I continued to run but a small bit of doubt began to creep into my mind and if that control was actually mine.... after about a milli second, I told myself to shut the f**k up and get on with it. I was shit hot and there was no way I was making a mistake... Confidence was through the roof, I knew I had the title in my grasp. Down into the depression, spiking 10, I knew I was right, bada bing bada BOOOM..... Up out of the sandy depression and on to 11. I was floating. Checked the control description and just saw my hill, ran around the base and spiked it ouvit.

12 was my worry.... running own parallel to the fence, I remembered Niamh and Ciara missing it epically. I tried to read the contours but I couldn't. Using distance and angles, I was looking at the earth bank where the CNOC army had assembled. I saw Roz vanish into a pit and I dived in after her. The title felt closer.... I took off up the hill to 13, heading on a direct baring for the house. My compass was irreverent. Hill top, hill top, in , spike and gone. My feet aren't touching the ground, I can feel the adrenaline running through my body. I veer around the hill on route to 14, not the ideal route choice but it didn't matter. I had a minute on Bill at this stage. Accelerating out of 14 I head for the end of the earth bank... I resist the urge to scream at the CNOC posse who were going ballistic. Down and up to 15. 16, the last difficult control. A depression in the arsehole of nowhere. Using the track as my visual hand rail I see the lip of the depression.... Only one control to go... Staying focused, I align up the buildings and head for it, check the codes and the title is as good as mine... I accelerate towards the last control, there is a crowd gathered. Don't know who, all my focus is on the depression. There is a lot of noise, I jump over the edge into the soft sand... punching the control, I resist the urge to kiss the SI box. Shea and Roar are on top of the depression, going crazy.... I take off up the hill. It feels so so sweet. My legs are on auto pilot. Nothing else matters.... I wonder when I'm allowed to go ballistic myself.... passing through the gate I flip out.... pumping my fists... shout out random stuff.... Punching the finish I collapse. Shea and Roar jump on me... It is the sweetest feeling.... IOC victory. CNOC are Irish Champions!

Whatever about an individual gold... A team relay senior gold with guys that you've raced with and against all your live... With guys that you've suffered heart break with at world championships, guys you've felt the pain of losing, been second best, time and time again.... to win, when the chances of it were so 50:50 was perfect...

Self christened Dream Team. No victory could be sweeter after such poor performances over the weekend.

Shea and Ruairi did the hard work. With Seamus's sheer will power (lets face it, he doesn't train ;) ) he almost beat Shane over his own kinda terrain to Ruairi who clearly was the monster of the team, getting the long gaffle and battling back for every second against Marcus. They made my job easy!

Whats not mentioned, is that CNOC White Snake, with Niall out running Ruairi, finished the relay in 5th position - one hell of a result.... No ones relay position is safe.... Unless CNOC is unleashed apron JUKOLA!!!!